Don’t believe me? Here are a few things that have happened since the British referendum in June.

1. Homophobic attacks in the UK went up by 147%.

2. Hate crime (like racist attacks) went up by 57%.

3. The government’s own cabinet committee estimated that the country would lose around £66bn every single year after they left the EU.

4. Nigel Farage went on TV and openly said that he lied during his Leave campaign. About pretty much everything.

5. The Conservative Party imploded. The new leader of Britain, Theresa May, an unelected eldritch horror with a hideous track record as Home Secretary, swiftly declared that there would be massive caps on the number of foreigners who could settle in the UK.

6. Jeremy Hunt, the scumbag in charge of the NHS, said that foreign doctors would only be allowed to remain until local ones were trained up.

7. The pound plummeted to some of its lowest levels since 1985.

8. The only assurance the British government could give Northern Ireland – which, in case you need reminding, has a southern half that is entirely part of the European Union, and which does not have a hard border between the two, and which had decades of a horrific religious war which makes borders anathema – is that maybe the Irish might possibly consider doing some more passport checks?

9. Virtually every bank in London has threatened to pull its offices.

10. Four million people signed a petition asking for a second referendum, and there were mass protests at the result, which was delivered by a tiny majority.

I don’t talk about politics too often. I’m not really qualified. Then again, I’m a guy who writes about explosions and noisy fights and bad jokes, so maybe I’m uniquely qualified. Whatever: the point is that I’ve largely steered away from it. But Brexit makes me so angry, inspires such total, raging, blithering hatred, that I’m moved to actually write something. It’s either that, or kill myself by slamming my head against a brick wall.

In the aftermath of the referendum, I blamed everything on the voters. Who were these wankers? I thought. Who were these giant, racist, hideous bags of piss? Since when do they get to decide that a policy of hatred and isolation is better than one of openness and compassion? Who the hell gives a tiny shit about their towns: places like Sunderland, Slough, Bromley? Who besides them has ever gone there? Who would want to?

Obviously, this was pretty unfair. I even feel a little ashamed about it. Most people in these places, I would suspect, are relatively normal. They don’t hate foreigners. They just have no money, no jobs, and are looking to do something, anything to stop the bleeding. It’s hard to criticise someone being gullible when that someone is in a desperate, terrible situation. Without wanting to sound condescending, we are not talking about people making rational, informed judgements. I was right to be angry, but I was wrong to be angry at them. They were lied to.

Then again, have a listen to this caller to London’s LBC who is delighted to be free of EU laws, and yet who can’t name a single one. You, motherfucker, deserve everything that is going to happen to you. (LBC don’t allow their videos to be embedded, so you’ll have to follow the link, but here’s a shot from it that just about sums it up.)

Oh, and these fuckwits. I’ve never wanted to actually murder someone before. Like, literally reach into the television, grab someone, and beat them to a pulp. I’m sorry. But seriously: HOW.

It’s easy to call me a member of the metropolitan elite. I probably am. I’m a British citizen who lived in London for a long time, and who is now an expat. I have a European wife. I make decent money. I have a university degree. Large numbers of my friends are foreigners. I am everything you hate. But even in London, I’m in the minority. Most people in London cannot afford to get on the property ladder, can barely afford their rent, are working jobs that they hate and which pay bugger-all. They’re just like you.

It didn’t have to be this way. I am (grudgingly) prepared to admit that if the majority of voters expressed that they want something, we have to abide by it, no matter how difficult it is. That’s how democracy works. It’s a compromise and it’s not perfect, but you can’t go halfway on it. And yet, this could have been so much easier. You don’t have to remove free movement and free trade when you leave the EU. You could simply go to the table and negotiate new terms. You’re telling me that an enlightened, caring Downing Street, run by people who have actually grown a brain, couldn’t frame this strategy as giving the Leave voters what they want? Of course they could.

The problem is that not only were these voters sold a bill of goods, by people like Farage and Boris Johnson who both deserve to spend the rest of their lives living in abject poverty, but that neither they nor anyone else had any idea what would happen if they actually won. I’m not just talking about leaving the EU itself. I’m talking about the massive, catastrophic power vacuum that would result. The scramble for the top spot that would leave the British people in the dust. No one could predict that it would allow the craven and the criminal to rise to power in such dramatic fashion.

The ones I really hate, the people I think should be rotting in a dark hole with nothing but each other for company and a ration of rats to eat every week, are the people in charge. They are racist, hate filled, trashbag people. Remember their names.

David Cameron, for starting this. For being a weak Prime Minister who promised more than he could deliver, and who steered the country into disaster. You deserve your legacy, you pig-rogering hellbeast.

Nigel Farage. I don’t even have words for you. You’re beyond contempt.

Boris Johnson. I can’t believe I voted for you to be Mayor of London. You were one of us. You were a good guy. What the hell happened, man? Did you think that you could make such a naked play for power and that we wouldn’t notice? Do you think we’re that stupid? Of course you do. It’s the only explanation.

Michael Gove. How do you even exist? How do you not just dissolve into a tiny blob of mush on the floor? What terrifying mathematics are keeping you in human form?

Theresa May. You are evil. End of discussion. You don’t give a shit about Britain, or the people who live in it. You only want power.

Amber Rudd. Home Secretary? I wouldn’t hire you as an actual secretary. I’ve never seen someone so good at riding another person’s coattails. What the hell are you even doing in government? You should be in a straitjacket.

Liam Fox. What are you even doing here? Your job, such as it is, is to make this whole shitshow work, and you couldn’t even get Norway to sign on. You’re a waste of oxygen.

Like I said: remember their names. Remember what they did. Remember how they treated you. When the borders close, when the Polish shop on your high street is finally gone, when all doctors are British, when you have to pay money to get a Visa to Europe, when there are openly racist white power groups operating in broad daylight, remember them. When you still can’t get a job because the factory in your town closed up shop and moved to France, when your doctors don’t have the experience to treat you, when your salary has plummeted, when you still can’t afford a house, when the government can no longer afford to pay your benefits, when the price of beer and tea and coffee skyrocket, remember them.

Read the most explosive scifi trilogy around

I can’t provide all the links to every store on every continent, but trust me: your favourite retailer probably has it. For now, here are the Amazon links – they’ll take you to the right store for your country.

TRACER / ZERO-G / IMPACT

Crunch Cover - Rob Boffard

I've got a free audiobook, just for you.

Rock and roll. Check your email.